Court is not discipline, court is like the dean's office, but with fines

When it seems like you are always alone...it means that you don't think about other people in your life

Q: Where have you been all of my life?

A: Hiding from you!

Q: Did we go on a date once or twice?

A: Maybe once, but I never make the same mistake twice!

Him: I think I could make you very happy...

Her: Oh, your leaving?

Q: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

A: Nothing cuz I can't talk and laugh at the same time!

I love you like a fat kid loves cake, like a cat loves string, like a dog loves a bone, like an emo boy loves girl pants...I LOVE YOU!!!

You promised the moon, but I prefer Uranus.

The gene pool needs some chlorine

You depreving some little village of its idiot