0FFiCER, i SWEAR T0 DRUNK iM N0T G0D.

get it? it's suppose to be, officer, i swear to god im not drunk, but he is which is why he switched up. =] felt lyk i had to explain.

REAL CONV:

JONOMAN says:
hey u kno wat a 68 is

Me says:
1 less than a 69?

JONOMAN says:
when you do me and i owe you

Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked too, but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

'I can resist everything, except temptation'

" My divorce came as an completely surprise to me. That's what happened if you're not coming home for 18 years. "

A BoY OnCe ToLd Me To SuCk It...I RePliEd: No ThAnKs, I ChOkE On SmaLL ObJeCtS!!!

What do a skeleton of a blonde found in a closet?

1984 hide and seek champion

We're girls.
We don't say what we want,
but we reserve the right
to be pissed off if we don't get it.

Dude, your bed is a car
yeah but its a ****** sweet car! my parents are gonna buy me a CB radio so i can talk to other car beds

Screw PHONICS;
i`m hooked on YOU.