Fcuk me like I ruined your credit.

Of course you are cute, you have hair covering 90% of your ugliness.

She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.

The girlfriend pisses me off so much, I wanna grow old with her just to watch her die.

So you love a gay guy who likes a straight guy who loves a lesbian girl who is crazy for her straight friend? Well that's not a love triangle that's a fcuking polygon!

Fcuk her so hard you have to get her a "get well soon" card.

I'd like to nail you so hard you don't wake up for three days. - rejected Christian Mingle bio

Get her pizza, not pregnant.

Relationship Status: Sleeping next to the warm laundry pile.

Please accept this bundle of fragrant plants grown expressly to be killed while in their prime as a token of my love for you.