I am so deep in the friendzone I've been introduced to her boyfriend's parents.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs.

Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on someone else's saved game

Marriage. Because dodging your own family wasn't enough.

Boobs: because you can't suck on a girls personality.

It's like I was chasing after you and I really, really wanted to catch you. But now I realize if you wanted to be caught, you would have stopped running.

I'm just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I'm unlucky enough to be a part of.

Beauty is in the eyes of BEER holder

You don't have to like me, I'm not a facebook status.

Fcuk me like I ruined your credit.