My ex just called me and wants to meet up she said , "We should hang out to and just go crazy " Me - " I can't , and besides you already have a headstart " ... She hung up on me

I'm not saying you're ugly, I just can't believe that anyone had sex with you on purpose.

A girl just wants to be told you miss her and want her.....50 times a day.

Finding love is easy if you realize it's an abstract concept.

Someone told me I was too cute to be single so I told them they were too dumb to be giving advice.

Don't be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they're still getting an answer.

Boy: Let's play a game, any game, just not hide and seek. Girl: Why not hide and seek? Boy: Because a girl like you is impossible to find.

This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.

Her: Are you listening to me? Me: Trying. But when you talk, your boobs jiggle. It's distracting. Her: Grow up. Me: They did it again!

This girl tweeted at me to DM her. What a weirdo, how am I supposed to Dungeon Master her?