Are you a parking ticket?
(What?)
You got fine written all over you.

Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"]
... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

Do you have a Bandaid?
[why]
Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!

When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on
the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons

Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Contrary to popular belief men are not pigs.

Pigs are kind, intelligent and sensitive animals.

So please ladies stop insulting the poor pigs!

Your Prices are very reasonable and they taste good

~Lauren saying that to McDonalds~

*this is not mine*

love is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only u can feel the warmth.

..:::..:::.. I UsE AnD AbUsE YoU DeN i LoSe YoU ..:::..:::..