Phone rings.....

girl: hello
boy: will u marry me??
girl: yes i will!! and who am i talking to??

Me: Behind every successful man, theres a woman looking really surprised

My boyfriend: Behind every successful woman, theres a man pulling the strings.

Its a Twilight thing. You wouldnt understand.

My friend: So Batman turned into Batman because he was bit by a bat right???
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA your unbelievable ya lets go with that..

I dont sell sex i sell condoms with free demos haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wAnT u 2 No dAt OuR fRiEnDsHiP mEaNs AlOt 2 Me...U cRy, I cRy...U LaUf, i LaUf...U jUmP oUt Of Da WiNdOw...I lOoK dOwN...i LaUf AgAiN!!

(im not dat cruel in reality lolz)

Do u believe in love at first sight.................or shall i walk past again?

God made coke, god made pepsi, god made my man soo damn sexy!

I am having my PERIOD therefore i can leagly KILL you!

~on a fridge magnet~

Biitch Dont confuse hate with jealously.