Me: Behind every successful man, theres a woman looking really surprised

My boyfriend: Behind every successful woman, theres a man pulling the strings.

Its a Twilight thing. You wouldnt understand.

My friend: So Batman turned into Batman because he was bit by a bat right???
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA your unbelievable ya lets go with that..

I swear sometimes he pisses me off so bad that it makes me wanna punch babies

"I used to be a skitzofranic,
but we're ok now."

~~~~~~Sarah~~~~~~

I dont sell sex i sell condoms with free demos haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wAnT u 2 No dAt OuR fRiEnDsHiP mEaNs AlOt 2 Me...U cRy, I cRy...U LaUf, i LaUf...U jUmP oUt Of Da WiNdOw...I lOoK dOwN...i LaUf AgAiN!!

(im not dat cruel in reality lolz)

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM LEEDS
WHO SWALLOWED A PACKET OF SEEDS
TUFFS OF GRASS
GREW OUT OF HIS AR*E
SO HE TURNED IN TO A PACKEET OF WEEDS

*You're so fat when you went missing you took up all 4 sides of the milk carton* lol

See ppl in love in the hallways holdin hands, my friends are like awww. I'm like get a f@#$% room.