Guys can be like toilets; taken, out of order, unavailiable, or full of crap.

Trust me I'm a liar!!!

[[based on actual events]]
girl: oh snap. i gotta fart.
friend: i think i'm gonna walk away now...
girl: noo wait. you have to listen and tell me what you think it smells like.

Men, are like goldfish...
As soon as yours dies, you can just go to Walmart and buy another one for a buck... :)

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs at you and trips you again!

Remember when you was younger the boys said you had cooties but now you can't even walk past them without them grabin your bootie.

If cows can laugh, would milk come out of there nose?

I have a lil angel flying around with a hammer....each person she hits gets a lil bit of my love, I hope she knocks the shit out of you!!!!

If you can blame guns for killing people, then I blame misspelled words on my pencil

Dont get mad at me becuase I'm prettier than you, blame god for making you ugly