Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me, so throw me down, tie me up and show me how much you like me.

Always keep smiling.....

because thats the second best thing you can do with your lips (;

Boyfriend goes to give girlfriend some blood.
Shortly after, they break up.
Boyfriend : Right, before you go i want my blood back!
Girlfriend : *hands him a tampon* i'll pay you back monthly!

It's funny how common sense isn't really common.

The reason guys have holes in there d**ks is so they can get oxygen to their brains.

I missed all of the signs because I was looking at the butterflies.
~me

Girl: Sometimes I just feel like you never notice me...Charles...I think we should break up...

Charles: WHAT THE HELL?!
Benches aren't supposed to talk!!

... They say a little hard work won't kill you...
but i don't want to risk it...

I luv him,o yes I do, hes for me not for u, and if by chance u take my place, I'll take my fist and smash your face!!!

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom, are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.