Love your enemies; it really pisses them off!

Kids in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seats cause kids-not by me

>>Shopping<< is cheaper than a psychiatrist!!

TO me YOur not just the world...YOur everything that i hold...My heart, My sorrow, and even my feellling that are deep deep inside. So please dont hurt me for i know somethen to...I have the keys to you car...and I know how much its worth to you ;)

Ex boyfriends are like frisbees
you throw them but they always come back

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom, are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

I'm not staring at your butt;
I'm just admiring your back pockets

If you had sex 365 times a year and melted all the condoms down to make a tyre, wat wuld u call it?

A Fukkin Goodyear!

not mine but love it!

I don't want your boyfriend.
no one wants your boyfriend.
that's why he's with Y0U.

What would u do if i got shot

would u run to me with some pot

to make the pain go away?

or would u run the other way

because it turns out u were gay