I just did some calculations and I've been able to determine that you're full of sh*t.

Dear 11 year old on Facebook with 'It's complicated.' Seriously????? What did he do??? Steal your animal crackers??

If you love something set it free. If it comes back, then you have a stalker.

For the ex :)

"Not even the light of Heaven and the gravity of Hell could attract me to you again".

Boys are like candy...

They look so good and they're really sweet at first. But then they turn evil and head straight for your hips!

If you never want to see a man again say, "I love you, I want to marry you or....I want to have children!"

Guys are like lava lamps....
They're fun to look at when their hott!

Childeren in the dark cause accidents...Accidents in the dark cause childeren..hehe!

Be nice to your kids they pick your nursing home

Dad just called ms.pacman a s|ut for eating all those balls!