Would a black man ever become president?

They said "only when pigs fly"

100 days in to Obama's presidency...

Swine Flu

I definitely won't drink responsibly.

Teacher. "Kai, why are you going to rambort?"
Kai."I'm just planning to ambush some person who seems to be dangerous, involved with a gang, and, to top it all off, is possibly insane. No big deal I do that all the time."

The only reason i did not resort to homicide is because i don't want to make a train wreck out of my conscience. So you should thank it, or else you'd be dead by now.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

THE ECONOMY IS SOO BAD, THAT MADONNA ADOPTED A CHILD FROM THE UNITED STATES ****snare drum noise****

Why did god invent thrush?
So now every woman knows what it's like to live with an irratating c#%t!!!

NEVER argue with idiots, they draw you down to their level, then they beet you with experience!

Teamwork, means never having to take all the blame yourself!

Aim low, reach your goals and avoid dissapointment!