I Must Be A Mushroom
Everyone Keeps Me In The Dark
And Keeps Feeding Me Bullshit.

If I Had A Brain
I Would Be Dangerous

"cock fighting"
are there any more people out there who find this expression highly amusing?

Are you too gullible? We can cure you! Send $1,000 to...

Dear Maths,
You have GOT! to learn to solve your own problems,
I've already got enough problems of my own and stop giving me failing grades...

"MY GOD MAN" said Sir John."Why the hell is there no cookie on my plate?"

"Well my friend" says Sir Orr "Because I ate it as if it were mine.

"Good to know. Carry on." says Sir John.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words

Isn't it weird that the name of the fear of long words is a very long word??

You know Santa Clause can really be very scary...

"he knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes!."

That's really enough to make someone paranoid....

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Note to Self:
Don't eat pink insulation. It's not cotton candy...