You is like a library open to the public

A hooker is like a bowling ball...

gets picked up

fingered

thrown in a ditch and

then comes back for more

"I don't hide my feelings to people. That's why I've been dubbed "To State the Obvious."

When life hands you lemons, stuff them down your shirt and make your boobs bigger.

If its against the law to drink and drive/drive drunk why do they have parking lots at bars?

Awkward situation #3: You drop your pen and lean over to pick it up, only to realize the person next to you is reaching down to get it for you. You both grab it at the same time. You aren't sure whether to thank them or not.

Rule #1: a guy hits a girl, he's dead. rule#2: a guy trashes a girl, he obviously has no balls to trash a real man, cuz he isnt one

I like big butts and I cannot lie; but I like them kept inside...

G _ F _ c k Y_ _ r s _ l f

Would you like to buy a vowel?

Instead of killing ourselves, why dont we just elect hillary president?