Yesterday is just another memory ;
One more day you made me laugh so hard I cried .
Unearthing what I thought he took when he left ;
Couldn't have moved on without you by my side .
On my grayest days you brighten up my world ,
Like a rainbow piercing through a stormy sky .
Often only you can keep me from falling ;
Unforgiving to the jerks who've made me cry .
Realizing what's best for me much sooner ,
Much easier than I can do on my own .
You bring out the best in me even at my worst ..
What would I do if you left me all alone ?
One day we may be forced to part ; but if so ,
Remember all the nights we've spent together .
Laughing , crying .. Talking about everything ;
Dancing in memories we'll have forever
** if you didn't notice , this is an acrostic .. The first letter of every line matches the title :) .
(Just to let you know, rhyme isn't everything and it was deliberate assonance in 'Hindsight')
I must confess that it's a bit annoying with that space between your punctuation but if that's how you work, then so be it. I liked the language here, it's communicative and I enjoyed it as it was simple to read and had a relatable topic.
'Y ou bring out the best in me even at my worst ..'
I think 'even when I'm at my worst' would sound better and make more sense.
'U nearthing what I thought he took when he left ;'
Probably the best line, although I think the spaces between the first letter and the rest of the word makes it harder to read, you might wanna revise that.
I love this.
I love every line and the fact that you started them all with the title, very well written.
12 years ago
I've got to be straight forward and give you props for doing an acrostic straight out - I just can't pull it off.
Second, you don't seem to force or push any of the rhymes in this piece, which also deserves praise, because I know that personally, on acrostics, I always have to force rhymes which really kills the flow of the whole thing - something you manage to not do. So kudos there :D
Overall, just another amazing piece from you. You're an excellent poet when it comes to rhyme and flow, and I'm not just saying that either :P - you're definately better than me overall.
"O n my grayest days you brighten up my world ,
L ike a rainbow piercing through a stormy sky ."
`Oh wow, I loved the similie here.. its so beautiful.. this person brought the color to your world when everything seemed so gloomy and dark. :]
"Dancing in the memories we'll have forever."
`So cute and so true.. I loved the word dancing! Definatly memories do stay forever.
This poem shows nothing but true friendship.. youve pinpointed friendship very well here.
Chicka this was a very heartfelt piece. i wouldnt change on bit. it's pefrect how it is. to never forget the precious memories with friends like that. always keep them in ur corazon. i realie love it. cuz without friends like that. a life would be gray n stromy . im glad u have a friend like that. amazingly done.