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by Hollymariee Dec 7, 2009
Life, society /
In front of the full length mirror she stood,
Knowing her choice will do her good.
Her long blonde hair will be no more;
It's not his approval she's searching for.
Locks held high and scissors in hand,
She cuts away to make a stand.
From honey gold to fiery amber;
She rids her body of his cancer.
From her face she removes her mask,
Allowing her skin to breathe at last;
Charcoal running down her cheeks,
She discovers the real her she seeks.
Next she removes her pretend eyes,
And pulls out her glasses she's had to hide.
Neglecting no longer her favoured frames;
She's tired of playing his stupid games.
He's changed her to what he wants to see,
Dismissing who she craves to be,
But someone else she can be no longer;
Her heart's desires have made her stronger.
5/5 great message
by Christopher Wry
Interesting and to many times true.
Gave me the goosebumps; most definitely a winner. A problem I feel in all society and you said it perfectly - painted the picture, really.
by Beautiful Chaos
"In front of a full length mirror she stood,
Knowing her choice would do her some good.
Her long blonde hair, to be no more;
For it's not his approval she's searching for."
Your syllable count is off in places, I cleaned it up a bit just for example, i hope you see what I mean.
Other than that i thought this was a good piece, i think we can all relate sometimes, when you realize that you are being what someone else wants you to be instead of who or what you are.
Overall I thought you did a nice job, good work.
Wow.. thats a really touching write. it actually made me cry.. because i feel like that everyday. i wish i actually had the courage to do that though. (:* dont make any changes. it is a real good poem