Just can't do without you

Firstly, BRAVO!

Writing this poem in 15 minutes is great. It's also nice that you did it as a challenge from your friends. Very talented

There are a few, but they aren't like you..
I can do without me, but not without you!
love is priceless, cannot be bought for a cost..
hold on to it, before its all lost
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I like this first stanza - it just opens up showing really how much you cherish this person. The use of the exclamation point - just shows us how much you actually mean what you're saying.

hand in hand, let us sail to a place,
where sun drowns in an orange haze,
Let us lie beneath a moonlit night,
Our dreams dancing side by side
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is a beautiful image - I love the orange haze look of the sun. I have seen this so many times and it just sets a romantic tone

I trace my lifeline etched on your palm,
while you look at me, innocently calm,
smiling broadly, yeah it's true
There are a few, but they aren't like you
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tracing your lifeline on her palm? How brilliant is this. As if to say you are made for each other. It is written I think this is the best part of the poem

What an awesome write!

loved it

x

Awesome lines~

hand in hand, let us sail to a place,
where sun drowns in an orange haze,
Let us lie beneath a moonlit night,
Our dreams dancing side by side

Good job! 5/6!

Cheers,
Ray

Your talent flows so gently and easily. Give you 5 mins and you could come up with beauty in some form.
I really like the simplicity, the tenderness in this piece. I can't pick a favorite line, each one is filled with love and and dedication to someone.
Excellent Raj Love your poems

WOW Raj I must say this is truly simply beautiful!!! I loved it from start to finish! There is a catchy tune to it which flows elegantly as well as smoothly.

love is priceless, cannot be bought for a cost..
hold on to it, before its all lost

^^Such a true statement my dear. Love cannot be bought and we have to hold on to it!

I trace my lifeline etched on your palm,
while you look at me, innocently calm,
smiling broadly, yeah it's true
There are a few, but they aren't like you

^^OOoo..I really like this part and can see it so clearly in my mind. Such a romantic scene!

The repetition of this line "not without you" makes it effective and also shows that is how love is. One can't go on without the other. Really enjoyed this read!!

There are a few, but they aren't like you..
I can do without me, but not without you!
love is priceless, cannot be bought for a cost..
hold on to it, before its all lost

this one is really very sweet.