A Miner's Struggle

Coal dusted face,
hardened eyes
with wrinkled worries,
^^
I love the way you have orientated this poem with such vivid descriptions allowing the reader to clearly materialise the character out of your words such a beautiful crafted technique you have used!

his baby girl stumbles
in his dirty mining boots,
swallowing his pride
and wiping his tears,
he has a genuine smile
for the first time in weeks.
^^
Wow such a beautiful portrait this poem has shaped into such a lovely way to display and depict a relationship between a father, his daughter and his job!

I liked the descriptions of not only appearance but emotions as well has made this poem amazing and a nice read!

5.5 from me

My Grandfather was a coal miner in West Virginia.....I enjoyed this......Whisk

Wow, what a lovely, moving, sad and yet touching poem! I can clearly the picture the scene and the bond of father and daughter, you have used miners in this write but it made me think of all the soldiers and other fathers out there who's jobs make them distant from their family.

Really loved this one and it leaves you with a lot of feelings of happiness and sadness but yet just thankful that in this poem he gets this moment with his child. Lovely. x

I loved the story in total. It gave me an impression about the strong relation between a father and his baby girl, so sweet.
Some adjustment, I think has to be made:

Coal dusted face,
hardened eyes
with wrinkled worries,

his baby girl stumbles
Just start with a capital letter

in his dirty mining boots,
swallowing his pride
and wiping his tears,

I think there should be a full-stop instead of a comma

he has a genuine smile
Again the capital letter

for the first time in weeks.

Finally the poem should be like that:

Coal dusted face,
hardened eyes
with wrinkled worries,

His baby girl stumbles
in his dirty mining boots,
swallowing his pride
and wiping his tears.
He has a genuine smile
for the first time in weeks.

I enjoyed reading the story.

I absolutely adore this write Hannah
You know I am into short poetry