You were beauty, magic, and everything I yearned to become
I found myself at your feet
by your side
in your arms.
Every moment I could find, I found for you
I lived and breathed for your praise
You were my Safety.
He was darkness.
He was lies and confusions;
Whispering 'you want this' in my ear.
My hands and eyes curious
My heart and mind trembling
My soul bleeding.
He was my Doubt.
Home to your arms,
I screamed so silently for you
spoke the words you needed to hear,
said the words I needed to say.
I whispered them in shame
You were my Refuge.
I was lost
Right where I was once most safe
And I was spun;
so expertly manipulated that I appeared to be alive
My mind spoke 'no'
but the puppeteer staged 'yes'.
The villain dressed in white
He was my Terror.
Refuge becomes a shelter
And I watched mine crumble
As you walked away.
'Was it really so bad?' you asked
'Let's go ask him if its true'.
Those arms, once my safety,
now marring my heart with blame.
You were my Defeat.
I became broken whispers
and tight shut eyes
tried to hide.
A man, a church, asked me to take one more try
believed in me, that I'd never lied.
He should have been my Liberator.
But you found me
even as the court sought to bring penalty
'Liar!' you screamed,
'We never turn in family!'
And so that was the death of me
You were my Ruin.
How I still long for my Safety;
someone who no longer lives.
Yet as you breathe,
my heart cries out for you
I've sewn my lips shut
with the pain of your betrayal.
You were my Mother.
Such a sad tale of the utter betrayal of a mother not believing her own child when she tells of abuse at the hands of a family member. I suspect this is sadly all too common. A gripping, haunting write. Well done x