Don't judge me (Part II)

by deeplydesturbed   Jul 31, 2018


So one look at the bottle
I decided now is the time
It was sitting on my desk
Half empty of the wine

A bad habit is not easy
When you’ve decided it’s time to stop
But I’ve gotten really bad again
I’m turning into a slob

One big drunken mess
Literally stumbling through each day
From home to work and back again
Wasting each week's pay

So stop I do for two whole days
But something is amiss
First comes the vomiting
Then the sickness, far from bliss

For both days my body shuts down
Shaking, headaches and more
“OH GOD PLEASE JUST MAKE IT STOP!”
I scream from the bathroom floor

So after two of the longest days
Spent mostly between the toilet and bed
I’ve decided I need a drink
Just to clear my aching head

And here we are now
A week has since disappeared
My body retaliated with a cold
That still has not even cleared

I’ve failed once again.
I gave in too quick.
My body couldn’t handle it.
All excuses I tell myself to stop the guilt.

I suppose I will have to try another time…

    report violation
7


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Addiction is a b'tch! Much of society frowns on us, but the truth is, we are all addicts in one way or another. If you're not the problem, then we should be part of a solution.
    One day at a time...
    Stay strong! X

  • 7 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Excellent write

  • 7 years ago

    by CJ Maleney

    I'm pretty good now but jesus on a weekend when not occupied! I can nail a few in fact a lot!

    Am I concerned? Dam right I am! It's not easy, it's too easy to sip from the bottle but to quote the chief from one flew over the cuckoos nest "the bottle was sucking out of him"

    Too many bad decisions are born of its effects and I know this only too well.

    Anyway a fantastic poem and if you insert the pauses where I think you placed them it flows rather well.

    Sending hugs

    Craig

    • 7 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you Craig - Wine and I are very very well aquanted.. in fact i can easily knock back a few bottles with 0 effect.. it takes at least 3 for tipsyness to set in... It is such a toxic habit.. and when i do try to quit - I get extremly ill.. :(

      but i will get there.. sorry - ranted a little..

      Thank yuo for the comment.

  • 7 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    *each week's pay

    *then the sickness, far from bliss.

    The meaning of this poem is beautiful and painstakingly honest, but it was hard to find a consistent rhythm or structure. To me, that was a tad distracting. I suppose it could be metaphorical that the structure of this poem is a mess because you're a mess too. I don't think Vegas will help your sobriety too much. I suppose I don't know where you go from here, grasping for sobriety while incidentally handling yet another bottle of wine. Trying to escape yourself whilst being too inebriated to go anywhere.

    Potent, indeed.

    Much love,
    S.

    • 7 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Edits made dear S - I also do not think Vegas will help at all!!
      However will be very interesting to see if you try keep up or stay at your own pace HAHA!

      Love you too! X

  • 7 years ago

    by Mark

    Very honest self reflecting heartfelt write. Big hugs Nam's and nominated.

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