Heavy, Part I

by Poet on the Piano   Jan 13, 2019

I can't tell if something's
changing in me or if it's the
false sense of security.
Here, I breathe winter tones
but it's barely snowed,
no ashes of sorrow,
no illusion that
my past self is buried -
the air is springlike
and even birds sing
as they travel by sunlight.
Plants still grow and
the soul is still rich.

My lungs should be joyful
at this miracle season
that does not smother
my breath
but I wake up feeling
somehow infected,
like this world is not
one I know how to command.
Because everything is distorted,
even January smiles and flirts
despite knowing what's to come.

And I don't want to stay
or feel the earth soften below
yet I have no desire to leave,
fearing what I can't guarantee

so I circle these same chipped walls
with the same periwinkle paint
and dusty corners,
waiting for my mind to release me.


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Stunning! Loved it. Milly x

  • 1 year ago

    by Ya----Na

    It deserves a front page too

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I think this just about deserves a nomination... :)

    Excellent work, MA

  • 1 year ago

    by Daniel

    A lot of poignancy here, and it’s a wonderfully familiar poem. The idea of not belonging, of stagnancy, of the world in its motions whilst some are left bewildered, lost in its predictability. I get a lot of frustration here too, the fear and anxiety, and it’s a really ‘human’ piece that beckons a few reads. Really enjoyed this. I can relate so much.

  • 1 year ago

    by ddavidd

    I am so familiar with that fear, The fear that first sustains, then mundanes us. First gives us stability, self recognition, then imprisons us.
    What a delightful piece.

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