apple trees ( Haiku )

Just a thought...

Title - Pause for thought

time seemed to stop as
sweet apple blossom fell like
fragrant Spring showers
^
When you get an idea for a haiku form, play around with it until you find yourself a punchline.

Good luck

There are times where simple poems are the best because they take you into that moment and it is picture perfect. I loved the first two stanzas of this poem, because the imagery paints a lovely picture. You can see yourself beneath the apple trees, and I personally picture a field or a yard full of them.

Upon rereading the second line, I stumbled on it. especially because there is no stoppage after the first line. I think it could read better as "flowers are sweet and fragrant;" because I believe that would paint a better picture of the poem overall. Of course it is just a suggestion. I think more imagery there would benefit the poem greatly, as haikus are normally filled with imagery. I do think the last line can be better as well.

I personally stumbled upon reading this as well. and again this is just another suggestion but I think if you put a semi colon at the end of the second line, and instead of having " here" you could say "time is forgotten" it still has that 5 syllable count. In my mind that would set that moment well. but again these are all just suggestions. I hope it helps.