The tide shall decide..

by Star   Dec 13, 2019


Bridges from reality to my mind
have been crashing,
and my thoughts sink deeper
into my heart.

I count the steps
to where I should stop,
but I keep falling off.

I make ropes out of my hair,
but I can barely hold on.

My tears fill the empty valley
within my soul.

So that when I let go,
the water would stop me
from crashing.

8


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Latest Comments

  • 11 months ago

    by Everlasting

    I make ropes out of my hair,
    but I can barely hold on.

    ^ are you like Rapunzel? How long is your hair that you can make ropes out of it?

    By the way, are you sure is the tide that will decide? By the looks of it, it’s you who is making that decision. First, you make ropes to stop you from crashing... then You are crying and those tears are filling out that valley to stop you from crashing... you are not letting go. It seems you are holding yourself from that sadness to stay afloat.

    Unless of course you are afraid that when you finally fall in the water the current of that sadness will make you crash into something else...

    The above is just thoughts that came based on the poem. Congrats in the win.

    • 11 months ago

      by Star

      I love your take on things Luce. Thank you so much<3
      P.s Why does anyone want their hair as long as Rapunzel’s lol

  • 11 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well done, Star. I owed you that tie break after the other week!

    • 11 months ago

      by Star

      You don’t owe me anything Ben :) You deserved it!!
      Thank you!!

  • 11 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    The imagery of a falling bridge encompasses very well the falling of spirit. Your visuals superbly portray the drowning of spirit. An excellent piece - Well done on your win. Milly x

    • 11 months ago

      by Star

      Thank you so much Milly ^_^

  • 11 months ago

    by ddavidd

    Your words, like any imaginative poet, erase the borders of personal and universal, internal currents and events,... The Poetical Solipsism is meritorious specially in your words.

    • 11 months ago

      by Star

      Oh wow!! Thank you!!!

  • 11 months ago

    by hiraeth

    The imagery of a bridge failing and crashing paints sort of an apocalyptic picture. The line 'my thoughts sink deeper' was strong imagery. The poem already starts off with strong visuals and ripe with emotion.

    'I count the steps
    to where I should stop,
    but I keep falling off.'

    This is sort of a nod to those intrusive thoughts that everyone gets, but you acknowledge it (willingly or accidentally) and end up going through with it. It's interesting; we usually get those intrusive thoughts as our brain's way of saying 'hey don't do that', going through with it, is a whole other story. You go on to write that you do everything in your power to save yourself; braiding hair into rope, 'crying to soften the drop'. I know this posted in the sadness section, but I find this poem brimming with hope, because you're still taking action, the second one becomes apathetic..

    Keep fighting, and keep posting :)

    • 11 months ago

      by Star

      Thank you :)

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