Retrospect

I'm full of the fear of regret
So I give up on things I could get
And regret all the choices much later
Spending hours just staring at wallpaper

I wasted the years at the start of my life
Doing things that I knew were not right
I'll waste even more of my time looking back
Wondering what all I thought that I lacked

When my bones did not ache with the weather
And when life seemed simpler, and better
When the clouds did not signal my tears
Now I wish I was there and not here

When the skin on my arms was unblemished
And when sounds held a pleasanter tone
When my time here was so far from finished
And when I didn't feel so alone

Now I sit on the floor of my bedroom
And I stare at a screen most the night
I'd escape if I could, from this gloom
But I'm not even sure I can fight

I held all my hopes in a bottle
Now shattered and broken I'll stay
My skin striped pale and yet mottled
I drove what's important away.

- Obscure
© 2021

I know that the rhyme pattern changed halfway through and that the meter isn't consistent, but I hope you enjoy the poem anyways!