Christmas of tears

The season of good will they say
my favorite time of the year
but my Christmas i can see being ruined
as i cant go on fighting the tears

ill give in gracefully and hope
that ill become numb for a while
that i can cry silently on my own
and when out fake a smile

"life isn't fair my dear" they comment
is that really meant to help?
to know what i do wont really matter
to know he may never realize the love i felt

that there's no way of stopping a loss
even when its the dearest friend
if fate has its way things wont change
and my heart will never mend

"where is that Christmas cheer?"
they ask in a merry way
it got lost along with my soul
i think but don't dare to say

i remember when i was younger
those holidays filled with magic
a feeling i wish for right now
even if it is all just a trick

i cant get my head around
how different I've become
i hate every last bit about it
hope someone will save me from this slum

to save me and regain my pride
rejoin each seam to seam
hug me, reassure me its OK
it was just a horrid dream

but there's no visible way out
no escape route or plan
instead I'm left with no idea
how to leave this unanswered land