Chiming of doom

Crying again, i hate this
the flowing stream never ending
broken down, exhausted
when will my life start mending?

everything i touch is ruined
everything i say is wrong
I'm sorry, i hate me too
been this way for far too long

i don't know how to fix it
i don't know what to do
I'm lost, tears drowning me
happy memories becoming few

so tired, yet still cant sleep
night after night lay awake
my mind goes crazy, it drives me mad
as i shiver in fear and shake

eyes so sore from this crying
as its the only way i fall asleep
its Christmas this week, but it feels so far away
why am i feeling this bleak?

why cant i forget the rowing
ignore that drink "disappearing"
really be happy, laugh and play
instead the laughter my ears aren't hearing

they've blocked out all happiness
now bring only dread
the chiming of doom
now rings through my head