The tears that fall so silently

Tears swell up in my troubled eyes
As another insult hits my side
Tears that fall so silently
Wetting the pillow without a sound
People ask what’s wrong
Yet I cannot say, I feel so guilty
I can’t let on
I try to smile, to be so happy
Yet deep inside my soul is dying
If I died tomorrow it’d be a relief
Free from the pain and all that life brings
I’ll never be good enough
To please them fully
They could pretend to care
To be so proud
The words they hurt,
And kill my soul
The insults become hard to bear
Becoming stronger and stronger
If you wanted to hurt me so much
Then just stab me in the heart
I’m trying hard to ignore you
Yet I’m believing what you say
I know I’m a failure, fat and all that
I’m useless at school and
Worse at cadets
So once again tonight
As the tears swell in my eyes
And another insult hits my side
The tears will fall so silently
Wetting the pillow without a sound