Deception

by Lonely Heart .ღ.   Oct 18, 2005


Trapped in my mind are thoughts of your deception
ripping through my heart is the hidden truth

destroying me from the inside out
I'm filled with nothing except pain and doubt

is there love.. maybe its a lie?
maybe its just a way for us all to die?

consumed in confusion
I've come to a conclusion

your tear me apart
each and every single day
your rip out my heart

it seems as if it doesn't faze you
you cant pretend to be sorry
you cant just simply say its something you regret

you cant deny what I already know
pain and heartache is the only thing you seem to bestow.

* I know this is poorly written *
* But i'd like to know your opinion *

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Timothy B

    Somewhy, when writers write something good, they always seem to think it's no good.
    5/5
    Tim

  • 18 years ago

    by NannO

    Says who?? i reli lykd it.. it was very sincere and it rhymed (lol.. im a supporter of rhyming poems :P) i reli lykd ur last line.. gr8 conclusion
    take care
    Nannoush

  • 18 years ago

    by x Saiya

    I was good, however some of the word usage could have been different and some of the rhyming kind of seemed forced or awkward. I like it overall, so I think a 4/5 would be good. :)

    God Bless
    Saiya

  • 18 years ago

    by Andrea

    It was very good, although i didnt agree to some of the ways you rhymed it and the way you used your words...it kinda throws off the flow.
    but anyways, i think it deserves a 4/5

  • 18 years ago

    by HansRik

    What a great write! I enjoyed every single word of this poem. It is unqiue and the rhyming couplets are wondrous! The diction and imagery are fantastic and truly original as well. This poem is excellent indeed.

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