Failed Experiments

by Richard   May 17, 2006


You're not failed experiments.
neither are your brothers,
nor your sisters.
I'm the only one.

raised up to live happily
born to become someone
you taught me everything you knew
burning houses, breaking hearts.

I wont blame you,
you did not do this to me
your calculations had errors
I'm a lost example.

if one day I am gone
don't send them looking
tomorrow will be here to late
for today I am lost.

these days I feel like nothing,
everything slowly fading away.
each day the clouds are gloomy.
how I loathe the sun.

here in this place I am to be
I've found at least something
my own home
here behind this broken alley

on this day my heart stop pumping
my blood oxidized
it will be so long until its June
I died during a winter.

but remembering all of my years,
something troubles me so.
a memory that seems did not happen,
I cannot recall any fall.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    I love the flow of this piece . I like the whole "Failed Experiment" thing .
    Nice write .
    ..ღ__MiNDYY

  • 17 years ago

    by Kaylee

    It was an originaly idea but I think maybe you should have just limited failed experiment twice probably at the start and end because you basicaly have t twice in the opening stanza alone. It's unique and some of it has a certain ring to it but the one stanza about the weather and temperature just seemed to be the same thing with two different words. Maybe that's just me. An enjoyable read none-the-less.

  • 17 years ago

    by Synh

    That was a nice title. The title alone caught my attention but I agree with lot laureate that it started tob e a love poem towards the end. Good write.

  • 17 years ago

    by Gabba Gabba Hey

    I think that it was great. it did flow well, and, as everyone else has said, it was an orginal idea!

  • 17 years ago

    by master of shadow

    Great flow to this peice and the content is very well written with an orihginal idea which is well used. has a good atmosphere and the mood changes thoughout very effectively.

    5/5

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