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by Goth Sep 20, 2006
Friendship, family /
I think it's hard to walk alone,
Never thinking that one day you would be gone.
We were always laughing and getting along,
Knowing by my side is where you belong.
Things didn't work out the way we planned,
You know; The long walks on the beach through the sand.
Now that your gone it's plain to see,
The reason you left; Your pain was relieved.
You're in a better place and no longer in pain,
Please... Take me with you I'm going insane!
Copyright Â©2005 Wesley Hopkins
I feel like im going insane!!! 5/5
Third poem today that I read that gives a 5/5. I dont have many poems on here right now being a first timer and all. But would love for you to read mine when i have them up.
Never thinking that one day you would be gone
[This line might work better if you replaced "thinking" with "thought".]
You know; The long walks on the beach through the sand
[The only thing I can sugest with this line, is to try and minimise the times you write "the"]
Overall, it was a pretty sad poem. The ending really summed it up, too and brought it all together. Nicely done.
by Sweet lig
Great job.... your poem is great and also flow is really great thanks 5/5
by Goran Rahim
The first two lines of the poem was enough to take me into the poem, very emotional and very greatly written, this poem dont deserve anything less than a 5/5