Releasing silent screams

This is my first poem and i'm really nervous about it so please comment/rate it so i can get some feedback. thanksxx

No one understands these feelings,
Or at least that's how it seems.
I let the blood roll down my skin
Releasing silent screams.

As the darkness devours my soul
I practise smiles so fake,
I know my ceiling oh so well
Since I stare at it, as I lie awake.
I violently shred my skin
To apologise for my mistakes.
Now I'm buried in the effects
Of our destructive quake.

My shadow starts to befriend me
As solitude becomes my norm.
I want another chance to love you
After we were left deformed.

As the pain gets just too much,
It's so easy to cut my skin.
As the blood rushes out
So do the bad feelings within.
It's a way to get rid of anger,
A way to get rid of stress.
A way to bail myself out
of this permanent distress.
I'd much rather have the pain
on the outside, rather than in.
It's so much easier to deal with this
By slashing my own skin.

Why did you leave me so alone?
Afraid, hurt and confused.
Now through my veins,
I will self-inflicted pain infuse.
I'll take my battered body
And slow my heart right down
And in my need for you
Let myself slowly drown.
I'll let my self disappear.
Since you're a permanent reminder
Of a time when I felt happiness.
To let go would be so much kinder.

I hope that we're not lost,
Just temporarily mislaid.
But I'm not quite sure,
So I'll turn to my loyal razor blade.
This doesn't mean I'm crazy,
Or even that I'm mad.
I'm just chasing a better time,
Missing what I once had.

And these white pills look so friendly,
Enticing and inviting,
So tempted just to take a few,
Easier than carrying on fighting.
And would you even miss me,
Or notice that I'm not here,
Would you hear my ghost
whispering in your ear?

It's so much harder to breathe
Knowing that you don't care,
But by cutting myself,
It's slightly easier to bear.
I'm not sure if any of this makes sense,
But maybe I don't want it to,
Because in a World where nothing's real,
Maybe I can accept we're through.

When you told me you'd never leave me
I thought you were being sincere,
I tried to carry on without you,
But it's too hard to persevere.
I don't want to be without you
I don't want to have to let you go,
But I can see it's over,
So too is my life, I know.

Already on my body
I have your name engraved,
So part of you stays with me
So a little bit is saved.
I've written your name in blood,
It's a sickly twisted red,
A permanent pain within me,
So you're always in my head.

I want you to know I need you,
And I want you to have to grieve,
I want you to know I'll be thinking of you
As this earth I leave.

Life doesn't seem worth living,
So I'll take the easy way out,
I'll close my eyes and say goodbye
As I go, beyond all doubt