Never going to be.

I feel myself shaking again
I don't know why.
I ate far too much today.
I think the only thing
I feel for sure is all this hatred
Towards myself.
I'm too fat.
Never going to be skinny enough.
To become all bones, it's all I ask.
And I'm willing to do whatever it takes
But the food
It makes me sick looking at it.
500 calories.
TOO much!!
It's always too much.
Never just right.
I don't know what's wrong with me
I just know whatever it is I want it to disapear.