Sitting by myself;
Minding my own business.
I hear my name,
Over the loud intercom.
"What on earth could I possibly done now."
As I slowly walk with my head down
To the office, Where the end of my world awaits.
"Are you Rachel? Yes.
My name is Karen Roach
And I would like to ask you some questions."
I knew what you were,
But you gave me these bull crap
Answers going around who you really were.
As my betrayer sat right there,
What the Hell have you done?
Why did you run your stupid mouth?
As you interrogated me,
Like I was some criminal.
Asking me why I did this,
If you could take pictures.
When all I wanted to say was,
'Mrs. Roach you can forcibly shove your camera
and your questions.'
Your still talking but say I can go,
But there you go continuing to talk.
So I just walk out and slam the door.
Every emotion goes threw my head.
Where Stella can shove her concern,
Because I don't need it.
I never needed there sympathy,
I never needed them.
And there she is,
Just sitting there,
Like she fixed my whole world.
When all she did was make me want to run more.
I thought Karen was out of my life,
Until a day later when my mom gets the call,
They want to see her.
Than I walk in to this whole new world,
"I'm Deb Mishler, nice to meet you."
I'm thinking 'ha nice to meet me, just you wait and see,
I'm more messed up than you can handle.'
As I sit there quietly giving out the right answers,
But she is seeing right threw it all.
I know what she should be thinking,
'Maybe counseling isn't for everyone,
Maybe some people just shouldn't be here.'
But was she?
She was a mystery to me,
Something I always wanted,
The mother that was never there,
But just like everyone else,
She managed to walk out of my life,
As fast as she came in.
This to me really isn't your best. It seemed quite like a full on story then an actual poem. Although the meaning behind it was expressive it really didn't hold my attention. the start lacked emotion but the ending did start to even it up. The flow was uneven to me. It seems like you go what you had to out which was really good but I just couldn't feel any emotion what so ever. To me it's a 4/5
12 years ago
Wow. now that was venting. it was a great piece. long, i now see why it says story, but to tell you the truth the end was much better than the beginning. but still a great write.
This piece seemed to me to be a major rant of a troubled individual. I liked the idea of a hesitant subject trapped in between the gap of doubt and conviction, whereas I wasn't trilled with its overall development and tone of voice. I liked the six concluding lines. It further portrayed the subject's bitter struggle on whether to trust the other person or not. Yet I noted how the ending was much compelling than the beginning. Plus, the flow was quite... uneven on the whole.