A Day with Jake

I didn't see much rhythm in this poem but that's quite alright the poem was still a good one

Nice poem. It flowed well. I enjoyed reading this.

'In your arms
There is security
Though I know
It is not real
Like Alice in Wonderland'

Those were my favourite lines.

Good job 5/5

:Sarah:

I usually favor rhyming but you pulled off impressing me without it :) AGAIN! Why isn't this a 5.0? ... anyways, I really enjoyed reading this but I don't quite understand... You are with someone you don't want to be with? You love someone who doesn't love you back? .. Well you did a great job whether or not I can understand it :) I really liked this part:

In your arms
There is security
Though I know
It is not real
Like Alice in Wonderland

Lovely Job

5/5

The metaphor is great. it's my favorite part in this poem. the metaphor is an amazing connection. i find it funny that little kids are being introduced to sex and drugs at a young age. ppl are so blind.

as for the poem, i'm not liking this jake guy. and if my brain was really ticking, id write more.
4/5

nice job.

Aww.....that was really sweet yet a tiny bit sad at times.
The poem had raw emotion & really gave the reader vivid images in their mind.

"We can laugh
We can talk
We can trip
We can touch"

^ Those were my favorite lines, they sound so adorable. Wonderful job, keep it up! 5/5

Stephanie Lynn .+.