Gone

by Aish   Sep 19, 2007


You used to push me on the swing
youd push me really high
there was that day that i fell off
and ran to your arms to cry

you used to ride your bike with me
id race you to the end
but you always let me win
so you never did offend

you used to watch me on the slide
and on the merry-go-round
you never took your eyes off me
making sure i was safe and sound

you used to tuck me in at night
in my nice and cosy bed
you tickle me and give me hugs
kissed me lightly on the forehead

you used to give me promises
that youd never leave me alone
that id always have your big strong hand
that could hold onto my own

but this was the first promise you ever broke
and because of that im torn
the tears keep rolling down my face
and all because youre gone

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by xXHunnyGurlXx

    This poem had such a sad story to it,
    It was the lovely kind of sad. But i really great poem.

    One little thing tho.
    'kissed me lightly on the forehead'

    I think this line wud flow a little better if you rote..
    'kissed me lightly on the head'

    But just my thoughts tho,

    Other then that little flow mishap, i wud rate this poem 4/5.

    Excellent work!
    *Hunny*

  • 16 years ago

    by xX the left behind Xx

    Ahh..what can i say? again, wonderful write!
    i liked how everything was portrayed as happy and near-perfect at the beginning and then was suddenly twisted into something sad at the end. the rhyming was great and once again, didn't seem forced at all. the whole poem flowed great and overall, it was a good poem to show just what happens when people break promises.

    5/5 from me! :D

  • 17 years ago

    by El

    So sad
    But a great poem
    Well written and again good rhyming

  • 17 years ago

    by Isabella

    A wonderfully sad poem.

    I think that the best part, is the last stanza, because it shows the feeligs of betrayel in a superb way

  • 17 years ago

    by CareBear

    Loved it <33

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