Weep Brown Eyes (Alouette)

by Meena Krish   Jun 7, 2013


A cycle of gloom
among wishes bloom,
pain stabs, yet within is numb
let these brown eyes weep
so it may find sleep,
why God, this unkind heart drums?

The Alouette, created by Jan Turner, consists of
two or more stanzas of 6 lines each, with the following
set rules:

Meter: 5, 5, 7, 5, 5, 7
Rhyme Scheme: a, a, b, c, c, b

1


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Meena,

    I like this form a lot, though I confess, I have never heard of it before, so excuse the ignorant!
    As to the content, how very true. Letting it out really is the only way to find any lasting peace.
    All the best, Meena,
    Ben

  • 4 years ago

    by Amreen

    So true.. Pain is such a bad feeling and to get rid of it, you need to vent it out, which can lessen it. You depicted this perfectly here and the form is just awesome and thanks for sharing info on it.

    Superb attempt!

    Keep writing:)

  • 4 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Resplendent Write Meena!!!

  • 4 years ago

    by Valenttina

    I found it said so little yet I could feel so much . I can see the brown eyes.

  • 4 years ago

    by Hellon

    Meena...I love when someone brings a new form to this site and...I have never come across this one so thank you for sharing with us...

    A cycle of gloom
    among wishes bloom,
    pain stabs, yet within is numb
    let these brown eyes weep

    The last two lines bother me slightly...

    so it may find sleep,

    So they may find sleep or...so I may find sleep?

    why God this unkind heart drums?
    ^^^^
    This line..I'm honestly not sure about..maybe it needs some punctuation?

    I'm still going to say...thanks again for bringing a new form to the site...kudos for that!