pineapple (acrostic) for Craig's fruit gauntlet

by - Mr. Darcy   Aug 28, 2018

Piranha like pains spread
Inside like hard rain;
Needles drilling their route,
Each one sharp as a tooth.
Appendix they pass
Pin pricking my arse;
Pulsating, serrating my ring so vast.
Legs akimbo I yell and scream and shout:
Eating the whole fruit was easy - it's the getting it out!


- Mr. Darcy
© 2018


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Latest Comments

  • 2 months ago

    by CJ Maleney

    I read this to my tetchy teenage daughter and even she laughed.


    I so so this makes the front page. It's a fantastic example of what poets can do and it proves we have a sense of humour and we ain't always dark and dreary.

  • 2 months ago

    by CJ Maleney

    I just laughed so hard I think a little wee escaped.

    Absolutely brilliant if somewhat disturbing lol


    • 2 months ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      Escaping of ones urine at a funny poem is the best compliment ever! Thanks, Craig.

  • 2 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Giving birth to a pineapple out of your backside is a rather unsettling sort of thought, I do have to admit.
    I will press the like button, but no, in honesty, the poem horrified me.

    Take care, Michael

  • 2 months ago

    by Jamie

    I cannot click like enough on this poem. The details are strangely fascinating and hilariously true as well. :) well done.

  • 2 months ago

    by Em (marmite)

    Well I never!!!! I'd argue the toss that a cucumber was classed as a 'fruit' just so you'd make a naughty on that... Challenge accepted?

    • 2 months ago

      by - Mr. Darcy

      You are encouragable! Lol
      "By this definition, a cucumber is a fruit. It develops from the flower of the cucumber plant and contains the seeds. This also means that lots of other “vegetables” are also fruits: beans, peppers, pumpkins, peas, and of course, tomatoes. ... So in the garden- the cucumber is the fruit of the plant."

      I accept! X

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