Teacher: class our lesson for today is math!

what is Math?

Peter: Ma'am!

teacher: okay! Peter

Peter: Math is our lesson for today!

:D :D :D :D

Phineas and ferb
stacy: its a bunny bear
its a cross between a bunny and a bear
get it?

Bonnie: i saw a deranged racoon
her mom: was it a rabbit?
bonnie: no..... it was a racoon

My mom: i thought you were hungry, are you gonna eat or facebook.
me: i also have to pee... i just dont know anymore

(me & my friend talking about my brother chipping a tooth after falling off a bike)
"he literally bit the curb..didnt anyone ever teach him to put his hands down first. i mean damn" :)

Roll over and play dead...
Nope..I don't wanna go to school tomorrow...

I really wanna touch this bug zappeer...but somthing keeps telling me its a bad idea

I just realized that the word "short" is longer than the word "long". HAHA!

Danny: i know im dyslexic but....microsoft word htaes me

Guy1:omg!
guy2:what happen?
guy1:something bit me, give me a scalple! i saw this on animal planet