I used to love catching bugs, that was until my sister brought one home that lives in your tummy

**School is practice for the future, and practice makes perfect, but nobodies perfect, so why bother practice?**

Seeing you makes me want to puke a little.

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...

Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...

Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke...

Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...

Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...

Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...

Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the governmental process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"...