Remember it takes 42 mucles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and smack the idiot upside the head

"It is better to be pissed off... than pissed on." -Author Unknown

"The truth is like anal sex-- it hurts no matter how big it is..."

"HEHEHEHE!!!! oh... sorry... im hyper."

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Life is like a penis, when its soft you beat it and when its hard you screw it.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

"keep on keepin' on like it's just what you do"

Xx im the kind of person that laughs at jokes 3 times-->once when its told
--> once when its explained, &&
--> once 5 min. later when i finally get it