Life is a bowl of cherries

"When Life Hands you lemons ask yourseld 'Should I make lemonade or lemon squares?''

~*once when we were drunk my friend prank called someone...he said

"Hi, Yes, I weuld like your catfish dinner and finest whine"

I almost pissed myself I was laughins so hard!

You say the glass is half empty, and I say "are you gonna finish that"

*Curiousity DID NOT kill the cat, it made the kittens ;)

* kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids

Trick me once
Shame on you!
Trick me twice
Shame on you again!
Trick me three times...
Well, Hell! CONGRATULATIONS!

Babies: an unfortunate side affect of boredom

When i was sad, you were there. when i was depressed, you were there. when i was confused, you were there. when i was alone, you were there. what the heck are you doing there- i'm right here!!!

Life is like a balloon..It goes up and up..Until a seagull flies through it..

When life gives u lemons
squeeze the juice in someone's eyes