Golf and sex are the only two things you can do without having to be good at them.

Women are like telephones
we like to be held
we like to be talk to
but if you push the wrong button
you'll be disconected!!!!

Pick up lines are like head lines
stupid and don't make sence

Giving head is a stupid idea......they never get any smarter

Life is not like a box o'chocolates...
No, it reminds me more of a jar of jelly beans...
Those ones that look so good then taste like grass or vommit...that\\\'s how life is..all glitter and glitz covering up a fat piece of shite!

An antique is anything over 50 ~ that makes me a seasoned antique with a shiny silver coat!

My heart is as broken as eggs on a sunday morning

People make dirt
people make rain
when u mess wtih me
yo ass will be in pain

If you don't laugh at yourself.... everyone else will!

T - Thank
G - God
I - I'm
F - Female