| I am able to read my wife's thoughts. However at times she forgets to write them. | 
| If you draw the gun and don't shoot right, you're shot down! - Tapan Ghosh | 
| Drink expresso to lower your depresso. | 
| "I wasn't that drunk!" Dude, you held up my cat in the air and started singing The Circle of Life! | 
| Tech support: "We aren't satisfied until You aren't satisfied!" | 
| Throwing fertilizer at people who need to grow up. | 
| If Mother Nature was to stab everyone who abused her then we would all be dead. | 
| Phone sex; I'll bet it wasn't what that telemarketer was expecting. | 
| Sometimes Words Are Not Enough.. :( | 
| Smile, it confuses the hell out of people |