You'll never become old and wise.

If you aren't young and crazy

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.

Curiosity didn't kill the cat; boredom did that a long time ago.

"Being an idiot can't be all bad, just look at SpongeBob SquarePants."

(I don't know what to say, it just hit me and it made me laugh lol)

When life gives you lemons, make lemonad.
But when life gives you tequila, THROW A PARTY!!!

I'm not apologizing. I'm just saying "I'm sorry".

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and ask for cookies!

"DONT DRINK AND DRIVE SMOKE AND FLY."

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on four billion! CRAP! Seven. Not even close. I need some more dice. Four billion divided by six, at least."