Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics =]

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someones eye and run!

I haven't lost my mind!
It's just sitting at home, next to my common sense.

You cant stop trouble coming through the door but you dont have to offer it a chair to sit on

Somebody left me a compliment on my driving the other day. They left me a little note that said "Parking Fine."

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing :P

I've got too much crap going on that i cannot afford to deal with stupid people. So please go away.

Four emotional stages of P.M.S..1. Ranting about life. 2.Crying about everything possible 3. Pissed off at the world. 4. Extremely Turned on...Lmao

After a year of therapy my psychiatrist told me "Well . . maybe life isn't for everyone after all."