Don't drink and drive, Smoke weed and fly!

When you don't know what else to do, smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age 8

Catch your breath,
pinch your wirst,
yeah it's true,
i do exist

Never knock on deaths door
ring the doorbell and run...
he hates that.

The technology of condoms are improving there for mistakes like you will never happen again.

I like to murder people in sadistic ways while singing showtunes..

In my life the PLAYERS change but the GAME alwayz satys the SAME!

You want to know the hardest thing
about summer? not falling in love &
wondering if it will last..no, it's
putting on a bra over a sunburn.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shot them