Trip on a skip,
you'll fall on your hip,
dont walk so slow,
watch where you go,
be quick,
two sticks,
five bills,
run for the hills,
three chimes,
stop on a dime,
should i write more,
im not so sure......

Drastic times don't call for drastic measures. It calls for sitting down, shutting the hell up and thinking things through before you fcuk it up more.

You remember that one time when we did that one thing and you did that other thing with that thing that turned into a thing but it never really was that one thing? Remember?

When life throws you lemons....Buy some vodka!

Smile, it confuses the hell out of people

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me or is it really a cat and mouse chase between your best friend and your boyfriend. Can't they just get along?

Standing on the edge of tomorrow, waiting for the rest of my life to start. Trying to figure out how to hit play on the rest of my life. Waiting for everything to get easier.

When life throws you lemons, keep them. THEY'RE FREE!!

When you support and lift others upon your shoulders, sometimes you get to see their underwear

Me: Hey, God, what's a million years to you?
God: A minute.
Me: what's a million dollars to you?
God: A penny.
Me: Can I have a penny?
God: In a minute.