Two of my best guy friends walk down the hall. one of them is wearing a leather trenchcoat.

"dude, do u kno how many trees were killed to make you jacket?"

"no, but i know how many cows were killed to make your homework."

For parents, there are few things more annoying than teenagers. And for teenagers there are few things more annoying than parents. So how come there are so many teen parents these days?

Girls arent complicated and fridgit...Guys are just stupid and horny.

If the ocean was liquer and i was a duck id swim to the bottom and drink my way up, but the oceans not liquer and im not a duck so pass me a shot and lets get f**ked up

.suicide is cheating the doctors out of a job.

I knew i was unwanted when i saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio

When life hands you lemons. . . stick them down your bra and make your boobs look bigger!

Happiness Is Like Peeing In Ur Pants Evryone Can C It But only You Can Feel Its Warmth

~* I aM hOo I aM, uR oPiNiOn Is NiEtHeR dEsIrEd...NoR...rEqUiReD!!*~

" well, i think im in shape "
" i agree, round is a shape "