Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few seconds.
Light a man on fire and he'll be warm until he dies!

TO THE GUYS

Always carry around a tampon, JUST incase a girl asks for one.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day, and may their arms be too short to scratch.

~* I aM hOo I aM, uR oPiNiOn Is NiEtHeR dEsIrEd...NoR...rEqUiReD!!*~

My busines dont concern you so unless your my thong stay out of my ass!!!

If God didnt want me to do it, he would have stoped me...
(thats what i tell my parents every time they ask me why i did what i did,hehe)

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggie style
or 69
Just for fun
Or getting paid
Everyone loves get laid!!!!!!!

If you talk about me
i got some advice
click your heels three times
and say "I wish i had a life"

Don't you hate it when your grandparents or whomever come up to you at weddings and pinch your cheeks saying, " your next your next?" I did. Well they stopped doing that crap when I started doing it to them at funerals