If Jack fell on a horse, Would you help Jack off the horse?

Remember when you went to sleep as a kid and mommy kissed you goodnight? Ever wonder if she just got done giving daddy a blow job? You do now.

I saw this girl... And she obviously didn't shave her pits. I mean, man, it was like a jungle. Imagine when she sweats? She could just ring it out. "What Timmy? You're thristy? Come here. Save some for the cat."

Everyone brings happiness into this room
Some by entering
Some by leaving.

If practice makes perfect and nobody is perfect, then why practice?

If your afraid of heights...

don't climb a ladder you dummy

"If God brings you to it, he will bring you threw it"

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

**some argument in writing comp.**
girl 1: i wld spell it out for u if u knew how to read!
girl 2: then wtf are we in writing class for??!!
random voice: to write??

If life was a bowling game.... I'd be da ball... knocking out every1 dat gets in my way ....